Paul,
Regarding the Reserve Slots, I only get that message when there are 20 or 21 people on the server. I'll try to connect with 20 and the console message I get is "You were disconnected for using a reserve slot". I will not be able to connect until it gets to 19 or less. Not sure if this will help you or not.
Hope you are able to get the server, sooner rather than later. Come on fellas pony up. If you guys are anything like my son, you waste to much money on your girl friends.
Hope to see ya playing on the server some day.
Mike